Well isn't this the perfect job for a drunk?
by NightcrawlerXalpha
Summary: What if there was another character? What if they were a drunk and had an unhealthy obsession with fire and weapons? Vinny X OC ... poor guy.
1. Chapter 1

**Alpha: Hey people! For those of you who read my other stories my fingers are fine. The burns are only second degree so the blisters are going away and there is very limited pain!**

**Tye: And I've had to take care of the idiot.**

**Alpha: Yeah but no one gives a shit about you.**

**Tye: Just shut up and let the read the story!**

**Alpha: -sigh- Fine. I do not own Atlantis. **

Name: Anthony ,Tony, (means above praise) Alessio ( means defender)

Personality: Loud, random, sarcastic, rude, drunk, violent, stands up for those she needs to, egotistical, perverted, lazy.

Age: 22

Hair: to shoulders, choppy, Blonde, bangs cover eyes, kept in a pony tail.

Eyes: right (scar that goes to chin) -gold, left – silver, normally covered by bangs.

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 128 pounds

Skin tone: tan

Shirt: tight black wife beater

Pants: Baggy black cargo pants

Shoes: Black combat boots

Hat: black messenger boy hat.

Job: Weapons specialist.

Other Info: Normally seen with a bottle of beer, cigarette, and gun. She likes to act a certain way so that others will underestimate her. She has an unhealthy gambling habit and will cheat if feels the need or just wants to have some fun.

Name: Aurelio ,leo, (means golden) Alessio (means Defender)

Personality: intelligent, rude, blunt, sarcastic, protective, mature, short tempered, unwillingly the voice of reason.

Age: 8

Hair: Golden, cut neatly, swept to the left, two strands frame face, longer than the rest of his hair.

Eyes: Gold

Height: 4'4"

Weight: 73 pounds

Skin tone: tan

Shirt: black t-shirt

Pants: black cargo pants

Shoes: black combat boots

Necklace: Black leather chocker with a bell on front.

Job: Keeping Tony out of trouble seeing as he's more mature than she is.

Other Info: He is very protective of his mother. Leo prefers to observe rather than interact. He is prone to violence with his gun when annoyed. He secretly loves flowers. His favorite is a white rose which is his mother's favorite.

**Alpha: Think Sanzo's hair from saiyuki for Leo's hair. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Alpha: Supness peepz? Anyways enjoy the story and leave a review! They make me happy! **

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"Good afternoon gentlemen," Milo said walking onto the makeshift stage. "First off I'd like to thank this board for hearing my proposal. Now we've all heard of a legend of Atlantis, a continent somewhere in the mid Atlantic that was home to an advanced civilization, possessing technology far beyond our own. That according to our friend Plato here," he tapped a bust next to him with his pointer. "That was suddenly struck by some cataclysmic event that sunk it beneath the sea," he then taps the goldfish bowl next to the bust.

Milo picked up some posters. The first one said Atlantis is a creative font with a question mark behind it. "Now some of you may be wondering 'Why Atlantis?' 'It's just a myth, isn't it? Pure fantasy.'" He points a finger in the air and says with a knowing wink, "Well that is where you'd be wrong."

He then starts dropping the posters. The first was a picture of the pyramids and a sphinx, "Ten thousand years before the Egyptians built the pyramids," He dropped another one. This one showed pictures of symbols and gibberish. "Atlantis had electricity," another gibberish poster, "medicine," another poster, "even the power of flight. Impossible you say, well no! No, not for them!" Milo wagged his finger like one would at a dog.

He dropped another poster. "Numerous ancient cultures all over the globe agreed that Atlantis possessed a power source of some kind." He dropped numerous posters while saying this, "More powerful than steam, than coal, more powerful than our modern internal combustion engine!" Milo got really excited when he started to say, "Gentlemen I propose that we find Atlantis, find that power source, and bring it back to the surface."

The next poster he showed us was a picture of a page that looked to be torn from a book, "Now this is a page from an illuminated text that describes a book called the Shepherd's Journal. Said to have been a firsthand account of Atlantis and its exact whereabouts." That was the last poster so Milo put it down and walked over to a chalk board.

It had a line of gibberish across it and then the English translation up under it saying, 'Coast of Ireland'. "Now based on a century old translation of a text, historians have believed that the journal resides in Ireland." He picked up an old shield, "But after comparing the text to the runes of this Viking shield," he points to parts of the shield, "I found that one of the letters had been mistranslated." He erased the 'R' in Ireland and then wrote a 'C', "So by changing this letter and inserting the correct one we find that the Shepherd's Journal, the key to Atlantis, lies not in Ireland but in Iceland." He paused and muttered something under his breath.

Putting down the shield he said, "Gentlemen I'll take your questions now." The phone started to ring and he said in embarrassment, "Uh will you gentlemen please excuse me for a moment?" He then proceeded to lean across the chalk board to get to the phone. "Cerography and Linguistics, Milo thatch speaking… yeah … just a second," he said sliding off the chalk board and turning on the lights to reveal a bunch of makeshift people a drunk woman and I young boy.

"Wooh! Yeah! Kick their ass!" I yelled out throwing my hands in the air. A cigarette was in my left and a bottle of scotch in my right.

"Mom we're not at a bar fight. We're helping Milo rehearse." The young blonde next to me sighed in shame. I just blinked at him for a moment before going back to cheering like a dumbass. "Good job, Milo. Just make sure that you can do it that well when it really counts." Leo said standing up and turning to me. Milo smiled and nodding walking over to fix the boiler.

I gave him a suspicious look and leaned away, clutching my bottle of scotch close to my chest. "You can't have any."

Leo rolled his eyes and growled out, "I don't want any of your damn alcohol you idiot. We have an appointment, remember?"

"Hey!" I said pointing a finger in his face. "Watch your fucking mouth!" I then stood and smiled at Milo. "See you later Milo! I got to go see – madfhei." Leo put his hand over my mouth before I could tell our nerdy little friend the big secret.

Milo waved at us as Leo dragged me up the stairs, "Bye guys! Thanks for the help!" He then walked over to the phone to finish the conversation. I didn't see what else happened because Leo had already dragged me out of the museum and to our truck.

"Do you always have to act like an idiot?" I looked over to my little man and laughed. I had a bad habit of acting like a drunk around people when really I'm completely sober, if not a little tipsy. It all depends on how much I feel like drinking.

"Yes I do," I turning my nose in the air and driving off. I added, "Stupid jerk always gotta ruin my fun," with a pout.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!" I smiled a too innocent smile at him with my cigarette hanging from my lips. I had long sense perfected the art of talking with it in my mouth. My son just hung his head in shame once again. Y'know you gotta feel sorry for him sometimes. Of course he wouldn't be half as stressed if he would just lighten up.

My eyes softened a bit when he sighed and looked out the window. The poor thing had been forced to grow up way too fast and here I am still acting like an immature brat. … Oh well! It's too late to do anything about it now. I pulled up outside our apartment. It looked nice and well kept from the outside. But when you got into the inside it's impossible to see the floor.

All around were various beer cans, alcohol bottles, cigarette butts, trash, papers, ammo cartridges, guns, and knifes of every kind. I know, I know I should clean but hey it's just going to end up looking like that in a few days so what's the point? Leo quickly ran up stairs to pack. We had known about this trip for weeks and already met up with everyone. I walked into the kitchen and put the scotch onto the counter and opened the fridge.

There wasn't much sense we didn't want to leave anything in there for however long the trip would take. Now you may have noticed that I keep mentioning a trip. Well Milo doesn't know this but we're going to Atlantis. Yep gonna have a nice little vacation. Y'know sandy beaches, bloody maries, and hot guys. Psh, yeah like that will happen. Now that I think of it, I do need a man. Of course I doubt Leo would be up for that. The little shit is so protective he didn't even trust Milo for about three months.

I had been on the original trip. I was young then but my knowledge of weapons and high tolerance for alcohol had impressed so he took me in. I wasn't allowed to tell Milo though. And frankly it never crossed my mind to tell him. I ended up having Leo shortly afterwards.

I pulled out the ingredients to make pasta and red sauce. It wasn't long before the smell brought Leo down the stairs and into the kitchen. I smiled at him and he gave one of his rare smiles back. Now I may act immature at times but I knew how to be a mother. Maternal instincts came easy to me. I always made sure my baby was safe and embarrassed by me just like every great mother should. Of course he keeps me out of trouble instead of me keeping him out of trouble.

"So what do you want to do after dinner?" I asked putting the bowls of pasta down at the island in the kitchen. I sat down on the high stool across from him and poured a bottle of Chianti. It's an everyday Italian red wine. White wine isn't good for red sauce pasta. The robust flavor of the sauce would cover the flavor of white wine.

"I don't know," He answered sipping at the wine I poured into his glass. I know what you're thinking 'How can you let a boy have wine?'. Well first off, one glass of red wine a day is healthy for you. And he doesn't even drink the whole glass. He prefers the more expensive strong type anyways. Classy little bastard, spending all my good money on wine … oh no wait that's me, heh heh, never mind.

"Well I thought we could go to the park," I said looking at him over the rim of my glass. Going to the park at night was a favorite pastime of ours. There aren't any people there and the flowers looked beautiful in the moonlight. He looked up at me and with another small rare smile and nodded. After I had finished washing the dishes and Leo had put them up we headed out into the night.

The walk was only about ten minutes to get there. We walked to the swing set and sat down. "Do you think this is a good idea?" He asked looking up at the almost full moon.

"Hm, to be completely honest I have a really bad feeling about this, but a good one at the same time," I said looking up at the moon too. "So I guess we'll figure it out as we go." I sucked some sweet nicotine out of my cigarette. "Leo?" I asked letting the smoke flow through my lips.

"Yeah mom?" he asked looking over at me.

"What do you think about me getting a man?"

"No way in hell," he said without a moment of hesitation.

"What?" I balked, "Why not?"

"Because knowing you, your taste in men is going to be as bad as your sowing, meaning nonexistent."

I glared at him with my left eye twitching. "Little shit," I muttered turning my head and pouting. I could practically hear him smirking. I leaned back in the swing to get a better look at the night sky.

"Do you have someone in mind?" he asked startling me and causing me to fall out of the swing and onto my back.

I coughed and wheezed trying to get my breath back after it was knocked out of my lungs. "What?" I rasped pushing myself into a sitting position.

He looked at me like I was an idiot and asked again, "Do you have someone in mind?"

"Mmmmaaayyyybbbbeeee," I said leaning towards him with a suspicious look. Really there was. His name is Vincenzo Santorini, but we call him Vinny. He was Italian and a demolition expert. We had met on the last expedition. He's five years older than me and had become a close friend. But when he was sent to jail we lost contact. It really upset me but hey I still liked him. His sarcastic sense of humor, his love of explosives, his annoying as hell mustache that would twitch every time I would do something stupid and get on his nerves. Also the little nickname he gave me, mio gattina. His kitten, gosh I can feel a blush coming on just thinking about it.

"Do I know him?"

"Nope." But you will soon.

"I'm meeting him before anything happens."

"Yeah whatever."

"Idiotic bitch."

"What was that?"

"Uh, I love you?"

"That's what I thought. Now Aurelio it is time for bed."

"You're just saying that cause you're about to pass out from the alcohol."

"No, I'm saying that because we have to leave at the ass crack of dawn."

"Do you always have to be so crude?"

"Of course."

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**Alpha: Hope you liked it! Will update soon. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tony: Hello people, animals, squirrels, robots, and spirits alike! –drinks scotch-**

**Leo: What the hell was that?**

**Tony: -blinks- I don't want to be racist.**

**Leo: -sighs and shakes head- idiot.**

**Alpha: I don't own Atlantis! . -steals scotch and runs away screaming- AHHHH!**

**Vinny: And if anybody wanted to see, Alpha has links to pictures of Tony and Leo on her profile. **

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It was early when I felt someone shaking me. "Stop or I'm gonna puke on you." I said and they quickly stopped. I opened one eye and looked at the scowling boy next to me. "What the hell do you want?" I asked and stretched in my cat like fashion that I do. I get on my hands and knees and lean back putting my forehead on the mattress and my ass in the air. I sighed when my shoulders popped and then I stretched forward putting my head in the air and hips down on the mattress. My backs and hips popped making me flopped back down on the bed.

"We've got to go. Remember, we have to find Atlantis?" He asked looking at me from his spot beside me, dressed and looking through the files. I groaned and turned over. Stupid Atlantis, stupid Milo for wanting to do this, stupid me for agreeing to help … wait Atlantis = Vinny!

"I'm up!" I said jumping out of bed and running into the bathroom.

"Careful mom the floor is-," BANG! Wince, "-slippery."

"FUCK!" I yelled out grabbing my forehead that I cut on the side of the shower. "That's gonna leave a mark." I muttered pulling my hand away and seeing the blood. Not that it really matters if it leaves a scar I mean I have a big ass one from my hairline and down over my right eye to my chin. Leo came in and stared at me.

Now let me describe the scene to you. Here I am sitting on the floor of the bathroom, in nothing but a tank top and guy's boxers, bleeding, and cussing like mother fucker. Yep, this boy's going to grow up with no problems what so ever. I stood up and pointed my finger at him. "You are in so much trouble!" I yelled at him.

He just shoved a bottle of scotch in my face and muttered, "Shut up and drink." I grabbed the bottle and took a giant swig from it. Nodding to him I turned on the shower and got in. The warm water stung the cut on my forehead but I didn't mind. I've had worse. Being a weapons specialist I've been shot plenty of times. I never go anywhere without my guns and I make sure Leo always has one too.

I had a Smith & Wesson double-action .45 ACP semi-automatic compact pistol, a Beretta 92FS, and a 18" mughal katar dagger with an engraved blade & silver handle. I have them hidden on my person at all times. Except a M240, officially Machine Gun, 7.62mm that I will have strapped to my back throughout this trip. Leo owns stainless steel Smith & Wesson M36, a lightweight 5 shot .38 special with a 2 inch barrel that he keeps on him at all times.

I got out of the shower and saw Leo going over the check list one last time in the kitchen. I made us a light breakfast before we headed off to the truck. I loaded everything up and got in the front seat to see Leo asleep against the window. As much as he wanted to be an adult he was still, my little man. I chuckled before pulling off into the rising sun.

The boat's horn sounded once again signaling that it if you were going to Atlantis it's time to get your ass to the launch bay. I turned to Leo and saw that he was looking in a direction an incredulous look on his face. I looked in that direction also and saw Vinny. "Vinny!" I cried out dropping my bags and running forward and glomping the Italian man.

"Oof!" He caught me and looked down at me in surprise. "Mio gatta, ma dove sei stato?" He asked looking down at me. I unfortunately missed him when I met up with the rest of the group and my adoptive father Mr. Whitmore. He looked the same as always tall, black hair, big ass mustache, and a shit load of explosives.

I was about to answer when a young voice called out, "Who the hell are you?" I looked down and saw Leo standing there with the three bags at his feet and glaring at Vinny.

"I'm Vinny," he answered placing me on my feet and motioning to himself, "I'm a friend of Tony's. Who are you?"

"I'm her son," Leo growled out crossing his arms over his chest.

I smacked him upside his head and said, "Be nice." Vinny looked at me in surprise.

"Son?" he muttered.

I nodded my head and said, "Ti racconterò la storia più tardi." I saw Helga walking by and looked down at Leo saying, "Aurelio, go with Helga and annoy her for a moment so I can talk with Vinny." He looked back and forth between us before his eyes narrowed in realization. With a nod he turned and ran off to Helga.

"You gave him a fitting name," Vinny said looking down at me. I liked seeing him like this; when he's serious about something, "Golden Defender he lives up to that name."

I smiled up at him before hugging him again, "Mi manchi molto!"

He wrapped his arms around me and said, "Yeah, life hasn't been the same without an insane pyromaniac getting into all the liquor." I smiled innocently before reaching up and grabbing hold of his mustache.

"What was that you bastard?" he tried to untangle my hand from his precious facial hair.

"Ow! Che fa male! Stop dannazione!" He cried out but I kept pulling. We were interrupted by Packard, "Attention all hands to the launch bay. To whoever took the L from the motor pool sign haha we are all very amused … Anthony."

"It's Tony and why do you automatically blame me?" I yelled out knowing full well that she could hear me.

"Guilty until proven innocent," she replied.

I jumped off of Vinny and pointed to the ceiling not even realizing that I looked like a schizo, "That's backwards!"

"…"

"Jerk!" I mustered under my breath pouting.

"I heard that." Damnit!

He looked down at me and then his eyes focused in on my forehead where I had cut myself that morning. "What did you do to your head?" He reached out and ran his index finger over the scab.

"… Fell in the shower," I said after a moment extremely embarrassed. At least it wasn't as bad as the time I had fallen up the stairs. Yep you may think it's impossible but I've done it and unfortunately he was there to witness it. I just hope he doesn't remember.

"At least it isn't from you falling up the stairs." Fuck my life.

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/Leo's P.O.V/

I stood next to Helga and looked around making sure everything was alright. I had a lot of respect for her. She kept everything in order and didn't put up with anyone's bullshit. Unlike my mom who just runs around acting drunk and pissing everyone off. I'm tired of being the adult for her. Although I will admit she does have her maternal moments. Actually if you think about it she's probably more maternal than the average mother. She's just immature.

"Excuse me? I need to report in." I heard Milo say and turned around along with Helga.

"Yes, Mr. Thatch?" she asked in a voice that clearly showed that she had more important things to do.

As soon as he saw us he freaked, "Gah! It's you! And Leo!"

"Mom dragged me here," was all I had time to say before a giant wagon was set down.

On the cloth was written in chicken scratch 'Today's special is shut up and eat.' Then there was an old man, named Cookie. My mom loves him and I … can't stand the idiot. "Blondie!" he called out. Of course both Helga and I are blondes so we both turned to him. "I have a bone to pick with you!" he crossed his arms and glared at Helga. So I guess that means that I'm in the clear.

"Hold that thought," Helga told Milo and walked over to Cookie. I followed knowing that whatever he said would make no sense and leave me with a mild sense of amusement. "What is it now Cookie?" She asked once she was directly in front of him.

Cookie wasted no time letting Helga know exactly what was pissing him off. "You've done stuffed my wagon full ta bustin' with nonessentials!" He picks up a crate and started picking out cans and throwing them to the side. "Look at all this, cinnamon, oregano, cilantro." He picked up the whole crate and threw it to the side as well asking, "What in the cock-a-doodle is cilantro?"

"It's a seasoning," I said but was ignored much to my annoyance.

"What is this?" he asked picking up a head of lettuce and shoving it in Helga's face. Really how can someone who's supposedly a cook have no idea what one of the most well know vegetables is.

She pushed it away and said in a condescending tone, "That would be lettuce."

"Lettuce? Lettuce?" he asked freaking out. Why, I'm not sure but apparently lettuce is not a friend of his.

Helga grabbed the leafy green from his hands and gave him a quick lesson, "It's a vegetable Cookie. The men need their four basic food groups."

"I've got yer four basic food groups!" he yelled out holding up three fingers, idiot. "Beans, bacon, whiskey, and lard!" he counted off on one hand. Oh my god, why in the seven layers of hell was I stuck in the middle of the crew of insanity? Suddenly the horn went off signaling the final loading.

Helga slammed the lettuce into Cookie's chest. "Alright cowboy pack it up and move it out!" she yelled out walking away. I followed her knowing I would run into my mom at some point. All you have to do is follow the trail of empty scotch bottles.

"Attention all hands to the launch bay; final loading in progress," Packard said over the intercom.

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/Tony's P.O.V/

"You know," I said from my position at the top of the mountain of explosives. I pulled the unlit cigarette from my mouth and looked down to Vinny. He was looking back up at me attentively waiting for me to continue. "I've always wanted to learn about this kinda stuff." I motioned to my throne of dynamite.

"Really?" Vinny asked looking at me intrigued. His mustache lifted up at the corners showing his smile.

"Yeah!" I said excitedly seeing that pleased him. "If you think about it explosives are very similar to weapons … that and it's an excuse to mess with fire." I did a little evil laugh under my breath.

"Well maybe I could teach you sometime?" Vinny offered looking back up at me. I smiled back at him and nodded. Ha! That bastard is flirting back at me and offering to spend more time together. I've got him around my finger. Suddenly the cart hit something and I almost fell off.

I looked down and saw Leo and Milo, "Hey Milo! I haven't seen you in forever!"

"You just saw me yesterday," he muttered rubbing his injured shoulder.

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/Vinny's P.O.V/

I glared at this new guy. I knew who he was but I didn't know how close he was to Tony. She already showed up with some kid and for all I know this guy could be the dad. Aurelio seemed to like him enough. Geez just getting that kid to like me was going to be a hassle. I guess my jealousy got the best of me because I couldn't help but be a complete jackass to the guy. "Hey Jr., if you're looking for the pony rides," I pointed my thumb over my shoulder before continuing, "They're back there." Tony started laughing and I smiled in triumph.

I started to walk away but the linguist said something, "Excuse me? Excuse me!" I turned back to look at him. "You dropped your," he looks at the object in his hand and starts to stutter. "Y- your dy-dy-dy-dynamite." He gave off a nervous chuckle and looks at all the stuff Tony was sitting on. "What all have you got in there?"

"Oh, eh, gun powder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue and paper clips, big ones," I said holding up my hands to show how big and impressing Tony even more with my quick wit.

"Aurelio! Hey baby!"Tony yelled out almost falling off the top of the boxes. She waved at him with her empty hand as the other one had a couple of cherry bombs in it.

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and asked, "How much have you had to drink?"

"… Good question, I lost count." She said sliding off and hanging onto me for balance.

"A bottle and a half," I said trying to keep her from falling over. Why she feels the need to act like a drunk when she's not is a mystery to me.

She looked at me for a moment. "Really? I thought it was more." I shook my head in disbelief before walking onto the sub with the other boys. She looked over and saw her father Mr. Whitmore and yelled out waving like an idiot, "Hi dad! Bye dad!"

"Attention personal, launch will commence in fifteen minutes." Packard said in boredom. I don't think I would be able to have her job. I'd be too restless. Not only that but I don't have the eighty year old smokers voice that's needed to pull it off. Yeah I should make sure she doesn't find out I thought that.

I automatically took Tony to the bridge and set her down. Leo was with us before he glared at me then his mom and back to me. Snorting in distaste he walked off after Milo. That guy has got to be close to them … damnit. Tony then leaned her head on my shoulder and started cleaning her pistol. I didn't know a lot about guns and that kind of stuff but I did know that she knew how to use them and wouldn't hesitate to if she felt the need.

"Lieutenant, take her down," Rourke said to Helga and I felt Tony tense beside me.

I saw her looking around the room while Helga said, "Diving officers submerge the ship. Make the depth 1-5-0 feet."

"Who are you looking for?" I whispered to her slightly nudging her head with the shoulder she was leaning on.

"Hm? Oh I was just looking for Leo," she put her gun away and closed her eyes as we dropped into the water. "He's with Milo and the last thing I want is for him to get into some trouble." Grr, there she goes mentioning that _Milo_ guy again. I'm right here, focus on me.

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/Leo's P.O.V/

"Attention tonight's supper will be baked beans, musical program to follow. Who wrote this?" Most likely my mom. I walked with Milo just so I could keep away from that demolition asswipe. Who the hell was he to try and take my mom's heart? Fuck him! I ignored Milo when he lay down on his bed until …

"YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE DIRT!" I look over to see mole yelling at Milo and pulling the covers off is bed. Underneath were various mini piles of dirt with different flags from across the world in them. "Dirt from around the globe spanning the centuries! What have you done?" He starts fixing the piles muttering, "England must never merge with France!"

"What is it doing in my bed?" Milo cried out effectively freaked. Poor guy didn't even know the half of it. No one in this crew was normal. Even myself, I mean how many eight year old boys do you know that have the maturity of an adult?

Mole got in Milo's face. "You ask too many questions. Who are you? Who sent you? Speak up!" Milo starts to explain himself but Mole cuts him off with an exhale of disgust. "Ah, I will know soon enough." He then proceeds to grab Milo's hand and drag him towards himself. Ignoring Milo's protest he picks a piece of dirt from under Milo's finger nail. "Oh don't be such a cry baby! Aha! There you are." He magnifies his goggles and inspecting the dirt. "Now, tell me your story my little friend."

He then begins to round off the various components of the dirt. "Parchment fiber form the Nile circa 500 B.C., lead pencil #2, paint flecks of a type used on a government building, you have a cat, short haired Persian, two years old, 3rd in a litter of seven. These are all the microscopic make ups of the map maker," he then licks the dirt and glares at Milo, "and the _linguist!" _Offended Mole picks up Milo's things and throws them at him. "This is an outrage!" Mole then pushes Milo out the door shoving him with each 'out'. "You must leave at once, out, out, out, out, out!"

Sweet walks right into the path of the two men and stops them. "Uh oh," Sweet said looking down at Milo, "Sat in the dirt, didn't you?" He crossed his arms and looked at Mole taking on the motherly role. "Moliere, now what have I told you about playing nice with the other kids?" Mole goes to defend himself but Sweet takes out a bar of soap. "Get back! I've got soap and I'm not afraid to use it!" Seeing the soap Mole hissed and ran to hide under his covers but not before Sweet managed to hit him on the ass with his towel. "Back foul creature! Back to the pits from which you came."

I then saw them introducing themselves and heard Sweet mention Milo being his three o'clock. Not wanting to stay to see Milo's physical I walked out of the room, waving to Sweet, and went to find my mom wherever the hell she and that _Vinny_ may be. Gah! Even in thought I have to spit out his name. Not that there is really anything wrong with him I just want him to stay the hell away from my mom. She's been through too much shit for him to try to come in and create more. "Will Aurelio Alessio and Milo Thatch please report the bridge?" Well I guess that answers where mom is … hopefully.

* * *

/Vinny's P.O.V/

"So I says to him, 'What's wrong with my meatloaf?' and her says to me- Hold on Margie I got another call." Packard paused in her conversation with Margie that Tony and I were listening to and flipped a switch to a different line, "Sir, we're approaching coordinates." She flipped back to Margie. "Margie? So, yeah, he says…"

"Alright," Rourke yells out effectively covering over whatever Packard was saying much to the annoyance of Tony. I was amused just listening to her mutter to herself, something about being annoying and moving to Canada with the moose. "Let's have a look around."

Helga stepped forward and replied, "Aye sir. Set course to 2-4-0; 15 degree down angle on the bow planes. Come right 2-4-0." The people driving the ship did as they were told and Leo walked up the steps to us.

Tony smiled brightly and waved at Milo as she hugged Leo. They had just got to the bridge and Milo was supposed to give a briefing of what we were gonna do. Leo glared at me and walked over to stand next to Helga. I noticed Tony get a little sad at that and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. A slight smile then slid across her face and I smiled before turning to Milo and promptly frowning. Milo was looking at us with a raised eyebrow but Rourke started talking so we all turned our attention to him. Except maybe Tony, I think she was daydreaming or something.

"Welcome to the bridge Mr. Thatch," He walks up to him and ignoring his outstretched hand. Rourke turned to the rest of us and announced, "Alright everybody I want you to give Mr. thatch your undivided attention!" Geez I feel like I'm back in school. Focused on everything but the school work and bored as hell. Oh, well I've got the hottest girl in school on my arm and she's … well I think she just passed out.

Milo nervously walked up to in front of the board we brought up for him. "Good afternoon. Can everyone hear me okay?" He pulled at the collar of his shirt in embarrassment as we all just gave him a blank stare and Audrey popped her gun. Tony looked at him for a moment and then went to messing with my baggy sleeves. "Heh, ok, uh, h-h-how about some slides?" You're asking us? He picked up a couple and started fumbling through them. "The first slide is a depiction of a creature. A creature so frightening that sailors were said to be driven mad by the very sight of it."

He puts in the slide and we all couldn't help but laugh at it. The picture was of Milo wearing a striped bathing suit with a kid's float around his waist, goggles, and was waving to the camera. He had a fishing rod in his hand and a cat was reaching up to play with the thingy, I can't remember the name of it, on the hook. "Hubba hubba," Packard said and Tony was leaning heavily on me holding her sides form laughter.

"TONY!" Milo cried glaring at her, snatching out the slide.

"What?" She gasped out. "I thought it was hilarious!"

Leo sighed and pulled out another bottle and shoved it in her face. "Shut up and drink."

"Okay!" She grabbed the bottle and took a giant swig.

"Geez I used to take lunch money from guys like this," Audrey said to me and I gave a slight chuckle. I saw out of the corner in my eye Tony glare at the teenage girl. Heh, so we have a little jealousy do we?

Milo puts the correct picture in and says, "This is a illustration of the leviathan; The creature guarding the entrance to Atlantis." It showed a picture of lobster like thing.

"With something like that I would have white wine I think," I said looking down at Tony.

She looked back up at me and smirked, "Like a Bordeaux' Graves."

"I was thinking more of a Rhone's Hermitage."

Leo glared over at us while Milo continued, "It's a mythical sea serpent. He's described in the book of Job. The bible says that out of his mouth go burning lights sparks of fire shoot out. But more likely it's a carving or a sculpture to frighten the superstitious."

"So we find this masterpiece then what?" Rourke asked ready to get on with this.

Mole popped up out of nowhere and asked, "When do we dig?"

"Actually we don't have to dig. You see, according to the journal," He turned to the board and started drawing, "the path to Atlantis will take us down a tunnel at the bottom of the ocean, and will come up a curve into an air pocket right here. Where we'll find the remnants of an ancient highway that will lead us to Atlantis. Kind of like the grease trap in your sink!" He turned to the rest of us and smiled.

"Cartographer, linguist, plumber hard to believe he's still single," Helga said sarcastically to Rourke making him and Leo smirk in amusement.

Mole pulled on Helga's sleeve and said like a small child would, "You said there would be digging."

"Go away Mole." Not very maternal is she?

"Captain you better come look at his," one of the guys called out.

Rourke walked over calling out, "Alright class dismissed. Give me exterior lights." The lights were turned on and swerved around. Tony quickly got off my shoulder and looked. It was a ship graveyard.

"Look at that," Helga said breathlessly.

Milo walked up beside her staring in shock mouth wide open. "There are ships here from every era." We all looked at the ships in amazement for a few moments before the shock wore off and we went to do whatever to keep away the boredom. I took to watching Leo and Tony play five card draw. They bet with matchsticks sense cash wasn't really something we thought about bringing on this trip.

"Leo you son of a bitch, you cheated!" Tony yelled out throwing his cards down in anger.

Leo just sighed and said, "The more stupid they are the more they try to blame it on somebody else."

Growling Tony leaned over to Leo and grabbed his cards and flashing them in his face, "Oh, yeah? Well answer me this fat head! How do you get four aces three times in a row? How? How? By cheating that's how!"

"Alright," I said walking over and picking Tony up by her waist and throwing her over my shoulder, "time to cool off." I walked over to where Rourke and Helga were listening to Milo translate some of that journal we found but I kept her over my shoulder.

* * *

/Tony's P.O.V/

I just hung there over Vinny's shoulder. I had a good view of his ass, so why move? "Hey Vinny?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you're doing this just so you can look at my ass."

"Guuilty," he said giving me a good smack.

"Eep!" I glared up at him before giving him a good pinch. He jumped in the air and quickly put me down. I pouted and whined, "Hey I liked that view!"

"Commander, I think you should hear this," Packard said over the intercom but Rourke ignored her. Not sure why I think he had just spaced out after listening to translations for a while. Vinny already looked to be spacing out. Though, I did notice his face heating up. "Commander, commander, commander, commander," Oh my god answer her already! "Commander, commander, commander," she's just going to keep repeating herself, "commander, commander, command-"

"Yes Mrs. Packard what is it?" he asked after a while.

"I'm picking up something on the hydrophone. I think you should hear it."

"Put it on speakers." Suddenly the bridge was filled with this groaning and wooshing noises. "What is it, a pod of whales?" He and Helga walked to beside Packard.

"Mhm, bigger."

Helga turned some knobs saying, "It sounds metallic, could be an echo off one of the rocks."

"You wanna do my job? Be my guest." Ah, you've got to love Packard. She's just so nice and caring.

"Is it just me or is it getting bigger?" Milo asked and ironically the noise just stopped. I pulled Leo to me and looked around suspicious.

"Well whatever it was it's gone now," Helga said with a sneer.

Rourke nodded. "Helms men bring us about." And jus then the whole sub rocked. That thing Milo was telling us about was attacking the sub. Leo, Vinny, and I were already running to the sub pods before Helga even had the words for us to out of her mouth.

"Launch sub pods!" Rourke yelled out and we were blasting through the water. We all went around the giant ass lobster/monster thing and fired. The shots didn't seem to be doing anything but we kept firing. The lobster swiped a claw at Leo and I but I quickly dodged. Vinny and Mole came up and shot it in the face and we made our escape. Suddenly this blue lightening came from its mouth and hit the main sub. The large sub pods ejected and we retreated.

"All crafts make your mark twenty degrees down angle!" Helga yelled out through the communicator.

"Aw shit!" I yelled out following them. Leo just growled and I looked over at him. "… you got our bags right?"

"Pay attention you idiot!" I just laughed and dive this wesome dive thing with the pod.

"I'm behind you!" Mole yelled through the communicator diving behind us.

"Ew."

"Mom this is not the time to be a perv."

"Anytime is time to be a perv."

"MOM!" I looked forward and saw that one of the larger pods had exploded. I quickly swerved out of the way. We dodged some more of that lightening shit before the tunnel curved up and we broke the surface. When the remaining people broke the water everyone opened the tops of their pods and climbed to the top. Someone flashed a light forward and showed land and a path through a fish statue's mouth.

"Well that looks welcoming."

* * *

/later/

Once we all got all the pods on land and all the supplies and trucks out we stood around the water. Sweet walked forward and placed a candle in a bowl on the water, bowing his head in respect. Rourke took his hat of and said, "Seven hours ago we started this expedition with 200 of the finest men and women I've ever known we're all that's left now." I hugged Leo to me and felt Vinny wrap his arm around my shoulder. "I won't sugar coat it gentlemen. We have a crisis on our hand. But we've been up this particular creek before and we've always come through paddle or no paddle. I see no reason to change that policy now. From here on in everyone pulls double duty. Everyone drives everyone works. Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you Mr. Thatch, you and that little book." Everyone ran off to do their jobs and finish everything up so we could head off.

I kissed Leo on the top of the head and then kissed Vinny's cheek. I looked at Leo for a second, " … So you got our bags right?"

"Shut up and drink," Leo pushed the bottle into my face and I grabbed it and first poured some on the ground to show respect for the dead before I took a big swig, Vinny taking one after me.

Packard took a last drag from her cigarette before flicking it away and saying, "We're all gonna die."

* * *

**Tony: -swig of scotch- yeah we are**

**Leo: no we're not**

**Tony: yes we are.**

**Leo: -shoves bottle in her face- shut up and drink**

**Tony: Okay!**

**Leo: And you're willing to put up with this shit? –looks at Vinny-**

**Vinny: Eh I'm partially the reason she drinks like this.**

**Leo: How?**

**Alpha: That is another story for another chapter! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alpha: Okay sorry for the long wait! I've got a lot of stuff to do still.**

**Tye: Read, enjoy, and review! **

**Alpha: Constructive criticism please. I know this story can't be perfect! **

* * *

Stop.

Honk.

Go.

Stop.

Honk.

Go.

Stop.

Honk.

Go.

Sto-

"That's it!" I shouted putting my trunk in park and handing my scotch to Aurelio, "Here, hold this." Ignoring his annoyed glare I hopped out of the jeep and grabbed a coil of rope from the back and marched up to the truck Milo was attempting to drive. I yanked his skinny ass outta the driver's seat and got in. I pulled the truck to the side and motioned for Mole to drive forward some. Then I put the truck in neutral and tied it to the digger. Turning to Milo and glaring I pushed him back into the driver's seat and glared once more before going back to my jeep.

"Very nicely handled mom," Aurelio said handing me back my Scotch.

I took a drink before replying, "Really? I thought I was a little too nice."

"Well he is a sensitive one. You can't really be a total bitch to him… he might cry."

"Point taken."

We continued down the path. There were carving and pillars all over the place. Now most people would appreciate the beauty of this and all that junk but me … well let's just say that I have never been more bored in my life. That and I couldn't stop my day dreams. I'm worse than a damn puppy love struck school girl. Damn you Vinny. Damn you to hell. I say hell because that's where I'm most likely going and I want him there with me. Sure it's selfish but he can get over it.

"Alright Tony pay attention please," Leo said slowly pulling on the steering wheel and putting us back on track so that we wouldn't run into the wall we were heading for.

"I am paying attention," I lied to save face even though it was pointless to even try to defend that poorly executed stretch of truth.

Leo just raised an eyebrow as if to say 'uh huh. Whatever helps you sleep at night bitch' and turned away to look at all the surroundings. He's one of those people who appreciate this type of stuff that I was talking about earlier. Geez, why'd I have such a serious kid? He needs to lighten up and have some fun ... maybe I should spike his drink. Nah, that'd be bad. He'd just wake up with a hangover and kill me.

Okay so maybe I'm not the best mom in the world but I try. I could have left him in some godforsaken orphanage and then let some random person adopt him for free labor. Wow, that's a depressing thought. Time to change the subject! But to what? Hmmm …

I felt a smack to the back of my head and quickly turned to glare at my son who in turn was glaring at me with his arms crossed. "The hell was that for?" I cried out rubbing the place where his hand had connected to the back of my skull.

"You were thinking out loud," he growled out through clenched teeth.

"… oops?" I said with a nervous apologetic smile. He just snorted and hopped out of the jeep walking back to Vinny's. I watched through my rearview mirror. Leo pulled Vinny out of his seat and pushed him forward, my guess is towards my jeep, and then hopped in and began driving the his truck. With a chuckle Vinny walked jogged to catch up to me and jumped into the passenger seat. "Well he lasted a lot longer than I had expected," I said with a lazy smile.

Vinny sighed and said, "You really need to grow up."

"You need to grow down!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Hell if I know."

Vinny quickly snatched the scotch from my hand and poured it out ignoring my horrified face. "Enough alcohol for you."

I quickly stopped my jeep and flipped off all the others behind me who decided to be rude and honk their horns at me. "Oh no you didn't," I said to Vinny as he promptly set the empty bottle down and gave me a blank look. Putting the jeep in park and shutting off the engine I turned slowly to Vinny and gave him about two seconds to run … too bad he didn't take them when he had the chance.

Launching myself across the width of the jeep I tackled Vinny out of the vehicle and onto the ground. I tried to punch his face but he grabbed my wrist and yanked it to the side while turning his body causing us to roll and I end up under him. For those of you who don't fight being on the bottom is a disadvantage. You're too busy trying to block the person on top of you that you can't get in a good hit yourself. Fortunately I've fought plenty of times and knowhow to get out of this situation … at an expense.

Letting him pin down my arms I glared. He smirked and taunted, "Now, now kitten, it's not like you to give up so easily." I smirked and brought my knees to my chest before pushing my feet into his stomach and knocking him off of me and onto his back. Quickly using the momentum I rolled back and onto my feet. Letting my pride get bruised a little will be alright as long as I win the battle in the end.

"I never give up love," I said bending down over his face, "You, of all people, should know that." Pulling gently on his mustache I smirked triumphantly before walking back to my jeep and driving off leaving the Italian man on the ground.

Leo pulled up and stopped momentarily. "You poured out the scotch didn't you?" When Vinny didn't answer Leo shook his head and continued on driving but not before muttering loud enough for Vinny to hear, "Dumbass." Pouting Vinny stood and ran to catch a seat on one of the passing vehicles.

* * *

After driving for a few more hours we came upon an opening in the cavern wall with two doorways. Everyone got out to see what we were gonna do as Milo searched through his journal.

"Which way Milo?" Rourke shouted to him as I stood by Vinny who was still pouting from earlier. I would let out a chuckle everyone in a while only to cause him to glare at me and thus making me laugh out loud making Leo smirk and Vinny to pout all over again making a vicious cycle.

Milo flipped through his book and read a page, then pointed definitely to the left one. Mole started in when a gigantic caterpillar with pincers leapt out causing Mole to quickly backed up and jump out of the digger to us. Milo turned his book right side up and sheepishly pointed right. He then hesitantly looked to the group and flinched when he noticed everyone glaring at him. Leo was the only one who wasn't glaring. He just liked Milo and I guess that meant the he was gonna give the poor nerd more chances than the rest of us. Of course that's no fun. What's the point of bringing in a new guy if you don't do any horribly mean spirited hazing? Yeah, as I stated earlier I'm going to hell.

* * *

We stopped for another break after another couple of hours of driving. "Damn my ass is numb," I muttered to Vinny who finally gotten over his ego being busted in the balls.

"Want me to do something about it?" he asked bored out of his mind. All of us were. Even Packard had put out a cigarette she was only half way done with because she was so bored with it.

I looked up at him and innocently batted my eyelashes at him and clasped my hands together, "Oh would you?"

"Hn," he tried chuckling in some small bit of forced amusement only to sigh and bang his head back against the jeep we were leaning on.

We looked over and saw Cookie and Leo walk by with metal ladles in their hands. "What you think they're up to?" I asked Vinny leaning against him about to fall over in boredom. Damn being bored.

Slinging his arm over my shoulders he replied sarcastically, "My guess would be cooking, but hey they could be about to fight to the death with soup ladles."

"Well it would be a lot more entertaining than this." Leo and Cookie stormed past us trying to wipe what I would guess to be our lunch off of them and screamed at each other. "Obviously wasn't a fight to the death since they're both still alive."

"You almost sound disappointed."

"It still would've been more interesting than _this_…"

Vinny rolled his eyes. "And you're supposed to be trusted with all the weapons? _Great.._."

I reached up slowly before snatching at his mustache and pulling, "I don't mess around with my weapons." I growled my left eye twitching in annoyance.

"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Okay I'm sorry now let go!" he screeched in pain trying to untangle my hand from the squirrel under his nose that he calls a mustache. I held on for a few more seconds before letting go and watching him fall onto his back. "…Lo ti odio."

"No tu no."

Vinny walked away and up to Milo as he finished chugging a canteen."You didn't' just drink that did you?" he asked as Milo wiped his mouth and nodded. "That's not good! That's nitroglycerin!" Vinny said quickly as if in a panic. I tried to hide the smile that was creeping onto my face by biting my bottom lip. We didn't bring nitroglycerin on this trip. Rourke didn't trust Vinny and I with it.

Milo started to freak out and grabbed his neck in panic. "Don't move. Eh, don't breath. Don't do anything." Vinny said trying to 'calm him down'. I noticed Mole creeping up from behind Milo and had to bite my wrist in order to stay quiet. "Except pray...maybe," Vinny finished off lamely just in time for…

"BOOM!" Mole yelled jumping up behind Milo and scaring the living shit outta him. He all laughed and I couldn't get over how funny Vinny's laugh was. He was doing it on purpose just to get to Milo. His real laugh was nowhere near that annoying. I probably should feel bad but, eh, I never was deemed the nicest person in the world.

* * *

Once Cookie and Leo got done with dinner and their argument we all sat down to eat. I noticed the two people were missing. Looking around not even bothering with the disgusting food that Cookie tries to feed us, I noticed that Leo was off with Milo to the side helping him with all his journal stuff that he was doing. I gave off a soft smile when I noticed Leo give Milo a paper and laugh when Milo took it and ruffled his hair.

Glancing down I couldn't help but feel upset. It had been years since Leo and I had been that close. Now it's basically him taking care of me because I don't want to grow up and do it. I need to man up damnit! I need to grow some cojones and take care of my baby! After this trip if I don't die first!

The next morning we continued on … for about twenty minutes before we were stopped by a cavern and a giant pillar in front. "Good night!" Milo called out in shock and amazement. "Would you look at the size of this! It's gotta be a half a mile high at least!" he shouted as Vinny showed me how to set up the explosives and flirted. Once done he tugged Milo by his coat collar to safety. "It-It must've taken hundreds-thousands of years to carve this thing!" Vinny pushed down the handle on his TNT, smiling like an old pedophile, but it probably just looked like that because of his mustache.

The pillar collapsed under itself, spanning the length of the canyon. "Hey look, I made a bridge. It only took me like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven tops." Vinny said, elbowing him in the arm and walking away. I giggled but stopped immediately when I noticed Leo's glare.

* * *

"I still don't like him," he muttered sitting in the passenger seat next to me. He was wrapped up in a blanket and snuggled down into the three jackets I forced onto him. We had been driving for a while and are now driving through the snow. I have no clue how snow got underground but it did and didn't like it. I've always hated the cold.

With my teeth chattering I replied, "Well that's unsurprising."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked raising an eyebrow at me and crossing his arms.

"You don't like anybody."

"I like Milo." That made me stop for a second. Damnit… not something I wanted to hear.

Sighing I continued to look forward. "I'm not marrying Milo."

"Why not?" he cried out turning fully to me. It surprised the hell outta me. "He's better than any other guy you've tried to be with!"

"Leo," I said trying to calm him down.

"No mom! He's nice, and kind, and he's smart! He hasn't been to jail, or sets things on fire, or blows things up!"

"Leo that's enough!" I shouted finaly turning to look at him.

Glaring at me he snorts. "Oh sure now you act like a mother." With that he hopped out of the jeep and trudged back to the car Milo, Rourke, and Helga was in.

"… Damnit!" I yelled thrusting my hand into my bag and pulling out a cigarette and taking a big swig of vodka.

* * *

**Alpha: Sorry it wasn't very long! I've had writers block for a while. **

**Tye: Alpha will try to get to Tony's past in the next chapter.**

**Alpha: Please review with constructive criticism. **

**Tye: We know the story isn't perfect and that there is something we can do to make it better. **


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